Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer
Town of Winter Hollow Police Department
Incident Report
Suspect: Christopher Cringle
Charge: Reckless Driving
Date of Incident: 12/24/24
At approximately 10:30 the victim, Mildred Nelson, was crossing Frost Blvd when she claims she was struck by a sleigh driven by the suspect, Christopher Cringle.
Mildred Nelson’s Statement:
“I was on my way to Sue’s Sweetshop to buy candy for my twenty grandchildren when a bright red light hit my eyes. I became disoriented and couldn’t move. Next thing I knew, a herd of reindeer dropped from the sky and knocked me to the ground.”
Christopher Cringle’s Statement:
“My flying reindeer and I were delivering presents to kids. Comet, one of the reindeer, is suffering from an inner ear infection, and the flying was bringing on vertigo. He requested a landing. Rudolph spotted an empty street and descended. Just as we touched down, a woman with white hair stepped off the curb without looking. I directed Rudolph to turn his red nose in their direction so that she would notice him, but she stopped in the middle of the intersection.”
Ruling: Based on two sets of irrational claims, a drug screening was conducted on both parties. Both showed high levels of drugs used for the treatment of high blood pressure and cholesterol. It was determined that the combination of these medications consumed with egg nog and then combined with the shock of the accident resulted in hallucinations. No formal charges were made, but Mr. Cringle was issued a warning.
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