Sorcerer Schwa<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

First, there were thoughts. Then, those thoughts became spoken words. Finally, those spoken words became written messages. Together all three became a language. Language allowed people to share ideas and expand their knowledge.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

 As time passed, the people\u2019s knowledge grew, and they began to explore other places. But there was a problem. People living in these places had developed different languages, which caused confusion. At last, people in the tiny village of Wordia grew frustrated when they inadvertently traded fifty of their finest cattle with a neighboring village for a cartload of rocks.  The villagers vowed they would find a solution to the language problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They went to the village sorcerer to ask for his advice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

 Unbeknownst to the villagers, he was secretly an evil sorcerer. Or he wanted to be, at least. None of his evil plots had worked out so far.  Once, he conjured a tornado, and it brought back Mrs. Brown\u2019s missing cow. Another time he called locusts which ate weeds instead of crops. The chance he\u2019d been waiting for was here at last.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI will use my magic to create a new language and make them forget their own. Soon nobody will speak Latin, Cornish, Sanskrit, or Sumerian.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The people thought this was a fine idea and thanked the sorcerer as he shooed them away. \u201cI will have a new language for you in a week if you leave me to my work.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the villagers left, the wizard took out a piece of parchment and his quill and started making a list of wicked ideas for the new language:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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• Use roots from many different languages<\/li>\n\n\n\n
• All of the rules have an exception (\u201cI\u201d before \u201ce\u201d except after \u201cc\u201d)<\/li>\n\n\n\n
• Words sound alike but spelled differently (sea, see)<\/li>\n\n\n\n
• Words will be spelled the same but sound different (close, close)<\/li>\n\n\n\n
• Letters make multiple sounds (cat, city)<\/li>\n\n\n\n
• Stick silent letters in words (lamb)<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n

  The wizard worked day and night on the language. He created so many twists and turns; learning would take years of schooling. As he worked,  visions of spelling tests with giant \u201cF\u2019s\u201d danced in his head. Finally satisfied with his sinister syntax, the sorcerer decided to take a nap.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

  He fell into a deep sleep and began to dream. Images and words flashed before his eyes: CAMEL, BANANA, PENCIL, DRAGON.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

  He bolted up in his bed. He had dreamt his evilest idea yet. The final touch his language needed. These words had different vowels making the same sound: \u201cuh.\u201d  He would call this sound the \u201cschwa.\u201d All kinds of multisyllabic words could have a schwa sound hidden in the unstressed syllables, and that would cause lots of stress for readers.  There would be no way to tell by looking at the word which syllable was using the schwa. It was diabolical! He stayed awake all night, adding the schwa sound to thousands of words until it was nearly impossible to determine what sound a vowel was making. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

  When the villagers arrived the following day, he magically transferred the language to their brains. \u201cI call it English. What do you think?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

  They scratched their heads, thinking that language was more complicated than they remembered. They tried to recall their old language, but it was gone. So, they agreed that English was an excellent language.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

  The sorcerer couldn\u2019t reach everyone, so other languages persisted, but English spread worldwide. The sorcerer lived for many years and reveled at the sound of children trying to sound out words with the schwa sound.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

  To this day, people claim to hear the spirit of the sorcerer laugh whenever a frustrated teacher says, \u201cI don\u2019t know why it\u2019s spelled like that. You have to memorize it!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

  THE END<\/p>\n\n\n\n

  What exactly is the schwa?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

  The schwa sound is the \u201cuh\u201d sound we say in unstressed syllables (for example: the \u201cI\u201d in pencil). It’s the difference between spoken and written language, which often makes spelling difficult. I like to use this song when teaching the schwa sound.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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